Stop indicting all men with sex drives as sexists and rapists.

What if what people name-call “rape-culture” is actually just “hook up culture?” Not a positive thing, but not as damning toward one pretty large portion of our society: men with sex drives. Hook-up culture harms both boys and girls. Rape culture implies mainly women are the victims of this lack of morality and lack of wisdom regarding sexual relationships on college campuses and in American society in general. I want to argue that there is a difference between acts of rape and the culture of promiscuity among both men and women. And that people need to settle down with the “encouraging rape culture” accusation.

Let me explain why the term “rape culture” is not helpful or reasonable.

The free love sexual revolution culture the socially liberal left has created over the past 6 decades through the hyper-sexualized perpetual adolescent media and pop culture has created young men and women who do not know how to be successful functioning fully grown adult men and women. In college, instead of a focus on becoming an adult with the goal of a job and a house and a marriage and kids, we have many silly horny boys with little to no goals who were not taught how to be a man mixing in with many silly horny girls without clear goals who don’t know their true power and worth and potential as a young woman. (Please do not get me wrong, I know that MANY young people do have clear goals and know who they are and do not get mixed up in this mess of destructive intimate relationships in college).

It is my view that overall, we are not taught to embrace wisdom and reality as young adults. Rather we are taught to embrace liberality and autonomy of our bodies and perpetual party lifestyles and we are encouraged to essentially not think about at all or reject traditional adult gender roles. We are encouraged to minimize the potential goal of becoming a mother or a father able to nurture and encourage children to one day become fully functioning adults.

I don’t think that the twerking clubbing drinking partying hook-up promiscuous culture of college students is adding to “rape culture.” This perpetual adolescent mentality and activity is simply a response to a lack of wisdom and lack of awareness of lifelong purpose in our young people. I believe we need to stop talking about “rape culture” and start asking, what part of our society has failed to instill wisdom in our young people when it comes to sex and relationships and what it means to be an adult? Is it the media? Is it parents? Is it the Church? Is it our government policies? Maybe it’s a mixture of all of these.

I don’t like that so many are labeling men as sexists and rapists just because they naturally want to have sex with girls and have not been taught the right way to view their role as men and the honorable way to view and act regarding women. Just because they are immature in their views on sex and female-worth does not make them rapists and sexists - two very damning insults in our social justice safe space hyper politically correct American political culture. We need to stop shaming men and their natural sex drives and start encouraging them and teaching them what true beauty, intimacy, and manhood is supposed to be. Since when does shaming and indicting normal, but dysfunctional and confused, groups of people (like all men) help them to do better than they are?

Claiming there is a rape culture is like saying there is a “murder culture.” Rape and murder are crimes. In Sociology, crimes are deviant behaviors deserving of punishment. Crimes are not culture. They are deviance and rejected behaviors. So, in a sociological perspective, shaming a large portion of our society (all males) calling them criminals every time they try to have sex with a girl is not helpful toward the cause of increasing healthy sexual relationships and respect toward each other in our nation. Sexual promiscuity among boys and girls is simply sexual promiscuity….raging hormones…stupidity of youth. The scientific fact of the matter is for college students: 18 year old boys are naturally at a stage in life where they are driven by hormones to compete with other young boys to woo and make moves on young women to mate/procreate and then brag about it with their friends. Likewise, 18 year old girls are naturally at a stage in their lives where they are driven to compete against other young girls to find a healthy male with good genes to procreate with. Without being taught how to navigate this stage of life with wisdom from perhaps The Bible or some other moral compass, boys will be lewd and braggadocious, girls will be malicious and catty….overall, boys as well as girls will act “promiscuously” and make mistakes in intimate relationships.

A woman who is not taught her true power and worth as a woman and how to avoid unwise sexual situations is going to make bad decisions with her hormones in how she dresses, where she goes, and who she interacts with in a college atmosphere of partying and sex. On the other side, we have boys who have not been taught how to treat women righteously because of this “anti-patriarchy” culture that teaches men to not be a real man. A real man is someone who has wisdom and courage and is chivalrous and respectful toward women. There is hardly anybody teaching the majority of our young men how to be a REAL MAN. Feminism has fought so hard to push this idea that women don’t need men to be chivalrous toward them. Women don’t need a man to provide for them. Women don’t need a man to open the door or help her in any way. Feminism has achieved their goals in removing from our culture the importance and value of REAL manhood and fatherhood in our culture.

It is a lack of wisdom and a lack of our society to teach young people what adulthood SHOULD look like. So, we have both male and female young people making bad decisions with their bodies. If someone commits rape, that is different than kids acting stupid at a club in a culture that encourages them to make it a goal to act like stupid adolescents for the rest of their lives in the first place. People should stop teaching both young men and women that it’s okay to remain a single uncommitted adolescent for decades of their fertile years. Christians have always said that if you have a sex drive, it is not wise to hold off on marriage and having children for so long into adulthood. Instead of focusing so much on teaching kids to figure out what their sexual identity is, what their gender identity is, what their racial identity is, what their triggered identity is, what your cultural identity is, teachers, parents, the media, and the Church need to start teaching young people what their holistic ADULT identity is as a woman and as a man, i.e. the simple realities of real adulthood in the real world. So, perhaps getting married sooner, beginning to work sooner, accepting the mundane, yet rewarding!, realities and responsibilities of real life in the real world sooner such as holding down a job, cooking, healthy habits, cleaning, budgeting, paying taxes, paying bills, raising children properly, being a good neighbor, etc. are more worth our time and effort when educating young people before they reach college age. It shouldn’t be a taboo for a girl to consider marriage and motherhood earlier and it shouldn’t be taboo for a boy to consider working, marriage and fatherhood earlier than is the norm today in our currently perpetual adolescent American society.